Doc Scratch vs Betty Crocker
by CheeseGhostAlpaca
Summary: Neither of them appear in this because we know who would win. Instead have a completely unrelated story with bad ocs and Davepetasprite 2!
1. Act 1

**Hello there. This is Aranea Serket. Due to the convenience of the author, I will be censoring some of the dialogue due to her discomfort of typing profanity. In exchange, I sadly won't 8e 88le to tell you my interesting stories about the reproduction of leprechauns and the like. I hope you enjoy the story. ::::)**

* * *

 **Act 1**

 **Your name is Davepetasprite^2 and the author doesn't feel like telling the readers everything about you and redirects you to the MS Paint Adventures Wiki. You will now have your story be told in a way the author is more used to typing in so she can stop typing 'you' outside of dialogue.**

B33 claw claw meowther*******

B33 this is davepetasprite clawing at you live with some sick beats

B33 like so sick yo momma is gonna die of cancer

B33 actually that was a purretty bad analogy

B33 ****

B33 i just nyoticed im being censored and ****

B33 what a catastrophe

B33 hey ***hole can you stop that

 **No. You are lucky I don't prevent you from speaking outright.**

B33 purretty furease

 **No and good8ye.**

B33 *davepetasprite meows sadly in hopes of getting the attention of the mysterious voice purribably stuck in purrgatory like a rambunctious crow stuck in spurrite form*

* * *

 **Your name is Mariee Susain and you are one of those bad trollsonas that Andrew Hussie said is technically canon one time. As your name suggests, you are a self insert Mary Sue who has white blood despite that being genetically improbable for trolls. You also are super sexy and everyone likes you for no reason other reason than plot convenience. Also, you have have long, pink hair, heart shaped horns, virtually no personality, and walk around in a skimpy bikini because fan service and modern day expectations? (Who's writing this?!)**

Tee hee 3 Where did Kitty-poo go 3 I want to kiss him soooo much 3

Tee hee 3 I'm so perfect and likable and everyone loves me 3

Tee hee 3 I found you 3

ZZZZZZZZZZ

Tee hee 3 You're so cute when you're sleeping 3

ZZZZZZZZZZ **** YOU ZZZZZZZZZZ

Awwwww 3 So sweet too 3

* * *

 **Miss CGA? I've noticed isn't letting you use some of the typing quirks properly. Do you want me to do something a8out it?**

 _ **Eh, I don't really care about that. This website probably just thinks I'm not using alternative quotations properly.**_

 **::::?**


	2. Act 1 Act 2

**Gr8 job yesterday.**

 _ **What are you talking about?**_

 **Excuse me, 8ut I'm not talking to you.**

 _ **:?**_

 _ **There's no one else here.**_

* * *

 **Your name is Karkat Vantas and you are yet another main character that can be found on the Wiki. You are also a pain to type on my phone.**

Tee hee 3 I found you 3

GET THE **** AWAY *******!

Tee hee 3 You know I don't like it when you flip your **** 3

YES MY **** IS FLIPPED, BUT I THINK I HAVE EVERY RIGHT TO BEHAVE THIS WAY. NOW **** OFF!

Tee hee 3 Don't you mean **** off right back here 3

NO! AND STOP SAYING 'TEE HEE'! YOU'RE MAKING MY THINKPAN HURT.

Tee hee 3 Tee hee 3 Tee hee 3 Tee hee 3 Tickle fight 3

AGHFJFEHQHKQNGUJS****DOATKOFQIHATEYOUHSOWHTGUSKSEHELPMESOMEBODYSJAIEBRO

 _Karkat ran away so he can maintain his sanity._

* * *

 **Your name is Aranea Serket and you being here mayor may not conflict with Homestuck's canon story. You are slightly upset by this as I cut back to Davepetasprite^2.**

* * *

B33 *purrs softly while purrtending that a creepy *** clown isnt watching me*

HeY mOtHeR******.

HoW yOu AlL mOtHeR******* Up DoInG?

:O)

B33 sup gamzee

HONK

B33 yeah me too

B33 but i thought you were working for caliborn meow

YeAh, BuT i WaNt To HaNg OuT wItH mY mOtHeR******* BeSt FrIeNd.

B33 makes sense

B33 gotta hang with your bro sometimes am i right

BrOoOo... ThAt Is So MoThEr******* tRuE.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAOOF!

HeY bEsT fRiEnD.

GAMZEE! YOU HAVE TO HELP ME!

Tee hee 3

NO TICKLES!

 _Karkat hides behind Gamzee and hisses at Mariee._

B33 who the-

Tickle tickle tickle 3

NO!

 _Karkat absconded._

B33 yeesh that broad is crazier than i was

Tee hee 3 Thank you 3

B33 *davepetasprite profusely gives a confused look at mariee and tilts their head*

HONK

honk

HONK

honk

HONKhonkHONKhonkHONKhonkHONKhonkHONKhonkHONKhonkHONKhonkHONKhonkHONKhonkHONKhonkHONKhonkHONKhonkHONKhonkHONKhonk

* * *

 _ **Yeah, that's not good.**_

 ***Mmphmmmnphmpnh!***

 ** _I agree!_**

 ***Mmph...***


	3. Act 1 Act 2 Act 2

**...**

 _ **What?**_

 ***Mmmnnmph!***

 ** _Here, let me untie you and go to the next scene before you have a chance to say anything._**

* * *

you were stalking my best friend, right?

YOU MOTHER******* WERE!

i might almost forgive you,

IF YOU MOTHER******* DIE!

Tee hee 3

honk

HONK

honk

HONK

B33 33p! nyo!

B33

 _Strife!_

* * *

i told you about stairs bro.

i told you dawg!

 **8ut, what does it mean?**

 _ **It means Dave is making bad comics on purpose.**_

 **I know that!**

* * *

HONK!

 _Mariee has been slain. Finally! I hated her!_

B33 B833

HONK!

B33 nyope not dealing with this ****

 _A few hours later, Davepetasprite^2 manages to lock Gamzee in another fridge with only three (3) missing fingers._

MOTHER**** ******* ***** ********** *** **** ****** ******* ***-

 _Davepetasprite^2's plush cat rump communicator is ringing._

IS SHE GONE? PLEASE TELL ME SHE'S ******* GONE.

B33 if you mean that troll chick who had the hots for you, then yeah, gamzee killed her

B33 B;33

JEGUS, FINALLY.

WAIT... GAMZEE KILLED HER?!

B33 yep but dont worry hes in the fridge

(DiStAnT HONK)

* * *

 **I have a recommend8ion, ma'am.**

 _ **Yeah?**_

 **Aranea: What if we format the dialogue like this?**

 _ **CGA: Sure, why** **not? Makes things less confusing.**_

* * *

Karkat: YOU KNOW WHAT WOULD BE SMART? IF YOU DISCARDED THAT REVOLTING CORPSE BEFORE THE HUMAN POLICE ARRIVE AND MISTAKE YOU FOR THE ******* MURDERER! OR IS YOUR THINKPAN TOO ****** TO DO SOMETHING LIKE THAT?

Davepetasprite^2: B33 wait wouldnt i get my dna on purr thus making me look like i killed some ***** just to be a little cat ****

Karkat: YOU DO HAVE A POINT. I CAN'T BELIEVE I ALMOST CONVINCED YOU TO DO SOMETHING SO ******* STUPID! IT MAKES ME WANT TO PROJECTILE VOMIT IN MY MOUTH.

Davepetasprite^2: B33 whoa tmi

Davepetasprite^2: B33 also the police are here

Karkat: ****!

Davepetasprite^2: B33 they think im responsible probably

Karkat: HOW DO YOU ******* KNOW?

Davepetasprite^2: B33 theyre looking at me weird

Davepetasprite^2: B33 its like they think im some crow that i stole some old *****s wedding ring then used it to purrpose to a police guy whos always knows every case when in reality im as innocent as a cat crow human troll sword sprite thing that did nothing wrong

Karkat: YOU ARE A CAT-CROW-HUMAN-TROLL-SWORD-SPRITE-THING YOU BLITHERING FECULENT ****HOLE.

Davepetasprite^2: B33 i just said that

Davepetasprite^2: B33 i may not be the real dave but i still know how to logic

Karkat: **** YOU AND NEVERMIND! I'LL BE THERE AS SOON AS I CAN! YOU ARE STILL AT THE SAME PLACE AS BEFORE, RIGHT?

Davepetasprite^2: B33 yeah

* * *

Sollux: hand2 up where ii can 2ee them... waiit davepeta2priite?! hurry up and get out of here!

Generic Police Guy: Arrest them! We can't afford to lose any potential suspects!

Sollux: 2top! ****... ii'm two late...

 _Davepetasprite^2 was tasered and now it's actually too late._

Sollux: **** thii2 ***** ii'm out.

* * *

 _ **SWEET 'LATER' BEING ARRESTED MONTAGE! (yay)**_

* * *

 _Your name is Xendra Darine and you are a gary stu who also has no personality and has a dark and depressing backstory involving dead lusii. Also, like Solar Sans the Ske- I mean Solar Sands' oc XD Man, you end every sentence with XD. Oh wow. You are also dressed as a playboy bunny and have a six pack because WHY NOT; MORE SEXY OCS THE BETTER!_

Xendra: Oh wow XD Peopelele Getin arrested XD

Sollux: (wee woo wee woo wee woo wee woo etc.)

Xendra: oh WOW XD Ill halp cux I'm OP XD tURNIP mon AwAy! XDD

* * *

 **Aranea: W8! Where are you t8ing me?!**

 _ **CGA: To the main plot!**_

 **Aranea: But i thought you needed me to censor foul language!**

 _ **CGA: Nope! Can do that myself! Bye! *kicks Aranea out of AuthorPlane2000***_

 **Aranea: CUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRSSSSSSSSEEEEEEEE YYYYYYYYOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUU!**

* * *

Karkat: THAT NOOKWHIFFING ****** WASTE OF BULL**** LIED TO ME!

 _Karkat RageEvolved into Pantskat and called Davepetasprite^2._

Davepetasprite^2: B33 sup

Pantskat: **** YOU!

 _Suddenly, Pineapples! (We are number one!)_

Davepetasprite^2: B33 oh wow its raining pineapples

Pantskat: DON'T CHANGE THE SUBJECT WITH IMAGINARY FRUITS FROM FRUITY RUMPUS ***HOLE FACTORY!

Davepetasprite^2: B33 halfish of me is pretty sure pineapples were real

Pantskat: HALFISH OF YOU IS WRONG!

Aranea: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

Pantskat: WHAT IN THE EVERLIVING **** WAS THAT?!

Davepetasprite^2: B33 some ***** fell on the car and the police got out to investigate it

Pantskat: IS IT TEREZI OR VRISKA?

Davepetasprite^2: B33 she looks kinda like vriska, but not quite

Pantskat: YOU CAN TELEPORT, CAN'T YOU?

Davepetasprite^2: B33 i think the police will notice me tryi- nevermind some random dude just beat them up

Xendra: turnop PINCH XD

 _The Final Fantasy victory theme starts playing._

Xendra: Oh wow XD I TAK purity ladle naow XD

 _In shock, Pantskat ConfusedDevolved back into Karkat. Also, Davepetasprite^2 teleported to where Karkat is now while holding a pineapple. This trollfic makes no sense! Yay!_

Karkat: ... OH, MY, GOG. GAMZEE MUST HAVE SPIKED MY DRINK THIS MORNING.

Davepetasprite^2: B33 wat

Karkat: KNOCK ME OUT.

Davepetasprite^2: B33 dude no

Karkat: WHERE DOING THIS.

Karkat: WHERE MAKING THIS HAPPEN.

Davepetasprite^2: B33 no have gcatavrosprite do it

* * *

Gcatavrosprite: aHHH, aHHH, aCHOO,

* * *

Davepetasprite^2: B33 *davepetasprite meows worryingly due to having a sick nasty brain fart*

Karkat: SHUT THE **** UP. I'M GOING TO GET DAVE.

 _Real Dave Ex-Machina!_

Dave: what the ****.

* * *

Xendra: YOlo XD I Am awsum XD ChEEvk 0uT my smw33ttttt mucles vagiga vagigagaga BROSEPH XD

Kanaya: I Inquire You To Please Leave Me Alone. Also, Leave That Girl You're Carrying Here. I Feel Bad For Her.

Xendra: No WAy babe XD LETS make OUT XD

Kanaya: I Have A Girlfriend.

Xendra: HUmpitie bumtitty XD

 _Suddenly, chainsaw! Also Kanaya is going to use it to kill this pleb noob._

* * *

Sollux: what ii2 iit thii2 tiime?

Generic Police Guy: XD Man gave us a boo boo. *sobs*

Sollux: go home, you're drunk.

Generic Police Guy: You were there too!

Sollux: ii left early, remember?

Generic Police Guy: Waaaah!

* * *

Future Sollux: they're all dead!

* * *

Sollux: calm down! ii 2wear you're two much two handle 2ometiime2.

Generic Police Guy: Wah wah wah wahhy wah wah!

Sollux: you're more melodramatic than kk!

* * *

Future Sollux: iit'2 all my fault!

* * *

Sollux: why diid ii thiink iit was a good iidea to become a poliiceman?

Generic Police Guy 2: Free wifi?

Sollux: be2iide2 that.

* * *

Future Sollux: *****! they all got 2hot!

* * *

Generic Police Guy: *sniff* B-because you love us?

Sollux: ii 2aiid go home!

Generic Police Guy: Ok, fine. *sob*

* * *

Future Sollux: who would do thii2 *****?!

* * *

Generic Police Guy: *mumbling* I hate you so much... *mumbling*

Sollux: what wa2 that?

Generic Police Guy: N-nothing!

* * *

Future Sollux: ii2 thii2, haiir?

* * *

 _ **What is Dave doing here?**_

 _ **What will happen to Davepetasprite^2?**_

 _ **Is Kanaya going to kill Xendra for being a womanizer?**_

 _ **What is Future Sollux talking about?**_

 _ **Find out next time on Homestuck Ball Z!**_


	4. Act 1 Act 2 Act 2 Act 2 Act 2 Act 2

_**The Baby Is You The Baby Is You The Baby Is You**_

 _ **Facepalm combo x3!**_

 _ **CGA: Adding the thing.**_

* * *

Future Sollux: 2omeone 2hot out all the liight2!

* * *

Xendra: I'm e TUrn ippp XDD XD

Aranea: I am 8usy sleeping. XXXXD. Is that right?

Xendra: Cleos enoufff XDXDXDXD

Kanaya: Why Am I Tied Up In This Ablution Trap?

* * *

Dave: i am disappointed in you child, why

Karkat: YOU WOULD BE GOING CRAZY TOO IF ALL OF YOUR HATE FRIENDS WERE AT RISK OF BEING ARRESTED BY THE ******* JOKE POLICE!

Dave: bro no

Davepetasprite^2: B33 bro no

Karkat: STOP SAYING BRO YOU PROTEIN CHUTE ******* ****BAGS!

Hamzee: OiNk :O)

 _Karkat makes Hamzee blast off again._

Hamzee: MoThErOiNkInG mIrAcLeEeEeEeEeEeEeSsSsSsSsSsSsSs!

Davepetasprite^2: B33 so much ****** dissapoint

* * *

Xendra: EeeeE rumBLE Spa here's toots XD

Kanaya: (May You Please Untie Me A Little Faster?)

Aranea: (Just w8 a little longer while I tell you a8out what would happen if Prospitian and Derseian Carapacian variants were to breed.)

Xendra: xD XD XDDD no XP say XD lol XD

* * *

Generic Police Guy: AAAA! GHOST!

 _Generic Police Guy shot out all of the lights._

Generic Police Guy: AAAA! DARK!

 _Generic Police Guy shot out all of the ghosts._

* * *

Future Sollux: 2omeone kiilled the gho2t2 two!

* * *

Dave: i want to help you but im pregnant again

Dave: the baby is you and that's wrong on so many levels

Dave: pchoo bye

 _Dave absconded all pchooey like._

Karkat: )8B

Davepetasprite^2: B33 B833

Karkat: WHAT.

Davepetasprite^2: B33 B833

Karkat: THE.

Davepetasprite^2: B33 B833

Karkat: ****.

Davepetasprite^2: B33 B833

Karkat: STOP THAT.

* * *

Xendra: XenOPhopic p132! XD

 _Kanaya has slain the XDbeast with her trusty chainsaw._

Aranea: Fairwell Xendra, it was strange meeting- what are you doing with his 8lood?

Kanaya: Er, Nothing Strange And/Or Important.

 _It was strange and important to Kanaya, as she is trying to drain his blood into little bottles so she could have a drink later._

* * *

 _ **CGA: Dovahkiin, dovahkiin, naal ok zin los vahriin!**_

 _ **CGA: I'm playing**_

 _ **CGA: Skyrim**_

 _ **CGA: To mess with people!**_

 _In the game, CGA is constantly dragging one of those medieval toilet things around and using it to slap the face of a blind guy in some dungeon. She's also laughing like a maniac now._

* * *

Karkat: IS NO ONE WORRIED ABOUT THIS SITUATION?!

Davepetasprite^2: B33 nyope im a cat a kitty cat and a meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow

Karkat: WHATEVER. **** YOU. I'M OUT.

* * *

Past Gamzee: Go My MoThEr******* pIgGy FrIeNd, Be FrEe! :O)

Past Hamzee: OiNk! :O)

* * *

 _ **CGA: I am Dovahkiin! *victory screech***_

 _Oh look, she's now dumping the recently deceased blind guy off a cliff. How nice._

* * *

 _Later_...

Sollux: oh the property damage...

Generic Police Guy: *rustle rustle actually saying rustle rustle*

Sollux: who'2 there?!

Generic Police Guy: Generic Police Guy... remember?

Sollux: ii told you hour2 ago, go home!

* * *

 _ **CGA: Fus ro dah!**_

 _CGA just stop fus-ro-dah-ing pigs into the ocean. PETA is going to get you for this someday._

* * *

Generic Police Guy: But I know who did this!

Sollux: really? ii'm not two 2ure about that.

Generic Police Guy: It

 _Closeup._

Generic Police Guy: Is

 _Even closer up._

Generic Police Guy: Gcatavrosprite!

* * *

Gcatavrosprite: aHHH, cHHHOOO,

Gcatavrosprite: wHAT, uH, iS GOING ON WITH MY, uH, aLLERGIES TODAY,

* * *

Kanaya: I Must Ask, How Are You Alive? I Last Saw You In A Dream Bubble Offscreen With My Dancestor Porrim. Since You Are Vriska's Dancestor And Therefore Deceased After All.

Aranea: Gr8 question! I'm actually from another session.

* * *

 _ **CGA: '_',**_

 _ **CGA: I just realized that Mariee Susain is almost exactly like Sakura Katana-chan...**_

 _ **CGA: Whoops.**_

* * *

Gamzee: LeT's MaKe SoMe MoThEr******* mIrAcLeS hApPeN!

 _Gamzee is trying to eat his way out of the fridge because the pig sized hole in it is too small apparently._

Gamzee: HONK!

* * *

Generic Police Guy: OWWW! What was that for?

Sollux: there'2 no way iit'2 hiim! he'2 two niice two do 2omethiing liike that!

* * *

Sakura: AAooAo~ i HopE karkat-kun NoTIces me AAaaAAAaaaa~

 _ **CGA: Stay in your own series!**_

 _Epic kick!_

Sakura: ThiS IS not Sugoi Nyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa~

* * *

Gcatavrosprite: iM pUPA pAN, pCHOOO,

Gcatavrosprite: aCHOOO,

* * *

 _ **CGA: WHOOOOOOBIIBBILLYBOP!**_

 _ **CGA: NEEext chapters!**_

 _ **CGA: Awowowowow! tEM!**_


	5. Act 1 Act 2 Act 3

**Link: Gee, it sure is boring around here.**

 **The King: My boy. This peace is what all warriors strive for.**

 **Link: I just wonder what Ganon is up to.**

 **Gwonam: Your majesty. Ganon and his minions have seized the islands of Koridai.**

 **The King: Hmm... How can we help?**

 **Gwonam: It is written: only Link can defeat Ganon.**

 **Link: Great! I'll grab my stuff!**

 **Gwonam: There is no time; your sword is enough.**

 **Link: How about a kiss... For luck?**

 **Zelda: You've got to be kidding.**

 **Gwonam: Squadila! We're off!**

 _ **CGA: '_'**_

 _ **CGA: wut.**_

* * *

 _Karkat looks out his window and sees Sakura Katana-chan._

Karkat: AAAGH... NOT ANOTHER ONE...

 _Karkat closes all of the blinds, locks all the doors, and hides in his recuperacoon._

* * *

Gcatavrosprite: dA DA DUM DEE, uH, wHAT ARE YOU DOING,

Generic Police Guy: You are under arrest for destruction of property, absconding of pol-

Gcatavrosprite: uH, sORRY TO INTERUPT YOU BUT, uH, i DONT REMEMBER DOING THOSE THINGS,

Generic Police Guy: **** you I'm gonna arrest you anyway!

Gcatavrosprite: }:|

* * *

Sakura: Uwaaaaa~ im tired~.

Damara: 私はセクシーな何かを言っているふりをしてください。

Sakura: Nani? who are YOu desu~

Damara: あなた自身を殺す。

Sakura: *incomprehensible screeching*

Damara: ああ、大きな胸。

 _Sakura wrapped her breasts around Damara and did a suplex because she's special._

Damara: ああ、そうだよ〜

 _Boob Suplex Combo X2!_

Damara: お願い。

 _Damara blasts off again. *twinkle star effect*_

* * *

 _Gamzee is partially stuck in the fridge and upside down._

Davepetasprite^2: B33 should i be worried

Gamzee: HoNk

* * *

Dave: my name's dave strider yes im the real strider-

Kanaya: Hello Dave.

Dave: zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Kanaya: I Know You Are Not In The Process Of Doing Alternia Slam Poetry In Your Sleep.

Dave: zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Aranea: I 8elive we should move on.

* * *

Gcatavrosprite: uH, hELLO, aNYONE HERE,

 _A bunch of cats fell from the ceiling made of cats and allergy proof tin foil._

Gcatavrosprite: uH OH,

* * *

 _Later..._

Sollux: diid 2omeone break the cat ceiiliing agaiin? ii hear meowiing...

 _Sollux walks downstairs to find a sneezing furry._

Gcatavrosprite: aCHOOO,

Sollux: umm?!

Gcatavrosprite: sOME , uH, gENERIC POLICE GUY ARRESTED ME, bUT, uH, i DONT KNOW WHAT I DID WRONG, aCHOOO,

Sollux: *****, agaiin?

* * *

Damara: これはセクシーな休憩です！

 _日本語モード！_

 _ **CGA:** **これはひどく翻訳されて無意味です！**_

ダマラ: あなたのおっぱいを見せてください。

 _ **CGA: いいえ！**_

ダマラ: 〜に触れさせて〜

 _ **CGA: やめる！**_

 _CGAはダマラを打ち、彼女は再び爆破していた。_

 _Also, Japanese Mode Deactivated._

* * *

 _Troll Ronny borrows Troll Johnny's ring._

Karkat: YES.

 _Troll Ronny proposes to Troll Loretta._

Karkat: **** YES.

 _Troll Loretta declares her love for Ronny._

Karkat: **** ******* YES.

 _Boom. Power outages everywhere._

Karkat: NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO...

 _Karkat is rolling on the floor and crying like a baby._

* * *

 _ **CGA: What will- aw we did this joke already.**_

 _ **CGA: Next Act!**_

 _ **Andrew Hussie: wut.**_


	6. Act 1 Act 2 Act 3 Act Taco

_**CGA: (^•^) ¥ (^•^)**_

 _ **CGA: ^(^•^)^ ¥ ^(^•^)^**_

 _ **CGA: (^•^) ¥ (^•^)**_

* * *

Gamzee: HONKHONKHONKHONKHONKHONKHONKHONKHONKHONKHONKHONKHONKHONKHONKHONKHONKHONKHONKHONKHONKHONKHONKHONKHONKHONKHONKHONKHONKHONKHONKHONKHONKHONKHONKHONKHONKHONKHONKHONKHONKHONKHONKHONKHONKHONKHONKHONKHONKHONKHONKHONKHONKHONKHONKHONKHONKHONKHONKHONK... HONK... HoNk... hOnK... honk...

 _Fridge Prat Fall Combo X1!_

Davepetasprite^2: B33 *davepetasprite is tired of this **** and wants to go home*

* * *

 _01000010 01101001 01101110 01100001 01110010 01111001 00100000 01001101 01101111 01100100 01100101 00100000 01000001 01100011 01110100 01101001 01110110 01100001 01110100 01100101 01100100 00100001_

 _ **01000011 01000111 01000001 00111010 01001001 01100110 00100000 01111001 01101111 01110101 00100000 01100011 01100001 01101110 00100000 01110010 01100101 01100001 01100100 00100000 01110100 01101000 01101001 01110011 00101100 00100000 01111001 01101111 01110101 00100111 01110010 01100101 00100000 01110100 01110101 01110010 01110100 01101100 01100101 00100000 01101110 01100001 01100011 01101000 01101111 01110011 00101110**_

 _Binary Mode Deactivated Because Almost No One Can Read It!_

 ** _CGA: Well, that was pointless!_**

 ** _The Huss: The ****?_**

* * *

Sakura: GasP! Its karKAT-Kun! SUGOi!

Karkat: ****! HOW DID THAT LOAD GAPER GET IN THIS ******* PLACE?!

Sakura: Noootic e kurKitkat-kun~ poof im NAKIES

 _Karkat jumped out of the window and threw a suicide bomber in._

Salvatore: Sploosh... Kaboom!

Sakura: wakawakawait! Tamate!

 _Sakura Katana didn't get to commit Seppuku, not that she would want to. Oh well, at least she died with honor._

Karkat: AND THERE GOES MY HIVE. JUST ******* GREAT.

* * *

 _Your name is Screw It. You like to screw things up. Screw troll naming conventions, screw my life, and screw this fanfic. Screwy screwy screw screw._

Screw: Y[])

Sollux: 2hut up! can't you 2ee ii'm tryiing two fiix thii2?

Screw: Y[]8O

Sollux: 2top talkiing!

* * *

Aranea: 88?

Kanaya: Check.

Aranea: 8ox?

Kanaya: Check.

Aranea: Complete nonsense that has nothing to do with the plot?

Kanaya: It Is Quite Literally All Around Us.

Aranea: Mary Sue corpses?

Kanaya: Does It Count If They No Longer Have Any Blood?

Aranea: Fiiiiiiiine.

Damara:トロールトロットトロールトロットトロットトロットなど。。。

Kanaya: I Would Consider This Mission Close To Succession, Wouldn't You?

* * *

Dave: yooooo aj

 _Dave started to drink the..._

Dave: bluh!

 _...troll pee. Aaaaaaaand he accidentally threw it on Davepetasprite^2's head._

Davepetasprite^2: B33 really dude?

Dave: shrug

* * *

 ** _CGA: Is Hussie even your real last name?_**

 ** _Andrew Hussie: TOLBERONE! *nom nom nom*_**

 ** _CGA: Nakanakacake!_**

 ** _Andrew Hussie: Wash ur face!_**

 ** _CGA: Wash ur soul!_**

 ** _Andrew Hussie: Oh. Hi Woshua._**

 ** _CGA: Woopadoop!_**

* * *

Damara: 殺人は奇跡です！わーい！

Kanaya: Pardon Me, But Why Did We Need Her Again?

Aranea: I just wanted to w8ste everyone's time and 8e a8le to use more 8s.

Kanaya: Does That Mean I Can Let Her Go So I Can Walk To My Hive?

Aranea: It's fine, m8. I'll go find Vriska.

 _Aranea pchooed out of existen_ _ce._

Kanaya: :|

Damara: 舌ケージはセクシーです〜

* * *

Screw: Y[]V Y[]| Y[]V Y[]|

Sollux: 2crew iit! ii'm ju2t goiing two take tavro2 and leave! come on, at.

Gcatavrosprite: uH, cOMING, aCHOO,

Screw: Y[]?

* * *

Kakarakakarbarkarkittykatkarkat: WHEJGFRSGDUFHHSGEVDGHEKUHFYEGDVTDHDBDCGQBAHDGHGGDHCJDHFVUIJLOCKFIDHUSPWAN!

Karkat: WHY AM I NOT ******* SURPRISED?

Kakarakakarbarkarkittykatkarkat: TROLL WHOOPIE GOLDPIE!

Gamzee: HoNk!

Damara: フライ・ミー・トゥー・ザ・ムーン！

Davepetasprite^2: B33 someone pinch me

Temmie: hOI!

 _Sprite tear close up!_

Davepetasprite^2: B33 brooooooooooo no

Solar Sands: I'll save you from the cringe while ironically making cringey one liners!

Davepetasprite^2: B33 B833

Solar Sands: Be nice to the dtawings!

 _Youtuber Teleport!_

Solar Sands: Welp, time to make Browsing DeviantArt: The Emoji Movie: Part 2!

 _Youtubesplosion!_

Davepetasprite^2: B33 B833

* * *

 _ **CGA: I have an idea!**_

 _ **Andrew Hussie: Kill off all of the characters?**_

 _ **CGA: What?! No!**_

 _ **CGA: I'm going to force someone to do a dramatic reading of this with associated anime graphics!**_

 _ **Andrew Hussie: So, mass genocide, then?**_

 _ **CGA: Yeah, kinda!**_


End file.
